Healthy Opportunities for Parents Expecting

Parenting

Routines

No matter what type of parenting style you use, experts agree that establishing routines with your children is excellent for their health and development. Having routines that you and your children follow also makes a parent’s life much easier. To establish healthy routines think about and make a list of your needs as a parent and your child's needs as an individual. Your days and weeks should be planned around making time to meet those needs.

Most daily routines should be about waking, eating, bathing and sleeping. You may also want to have a weekly routine for grocery shopping, laundry, house cleaning, and time to play and relax. Once you’ve figured out everything you have to do and when it needs to be done, you can then give everyone small jobs to do so they can help out. For example, children should always have to put their own toys away after they use them. Or, they can help out with meals by taking things out of the fridge for you, washing veggies, or setting/clearing the table. Getting kids to help out in this way may actually seem like more work for you at first, but in the long run it will teach them to take part in these everyday activities, help them feel good about themselves, and give them confidence in their own ability to do things.

Change your routine when you have to meet your needs and your child's needs as they change. Remember though, don’t change things up too often because stable routines are the best. Find a routine that works and stick with it. What follows are tips for establishing routines related to bedtime, meal times, playtime and potty training.

Tips for Bedtime Routines

Spend some time unwinding 1 hour before bedtime.
Give your child a nice warm bath followed by a bedtime story every night.
Allow soft music and/or a nightlight in the room.
Be consistent and firm. The routine should be the same night-to-night, so that your child learns to anticipate and accept bedtime as part of the routine. This may take a few days, so expect some resistance and stick to your plan no matter what.
Once you’ve finished reading your bedtime story, say goodnight and leave the room calmly while your child is still awake. Don’t hesitate leaving or linger in the room when it’s time to letthe child sleep.
If you are unsure of yourself and don’t really mean that it is bedtime, your child will sense it and become hesitant about sleeping. If your child tries to keep you in the room and/or doesn’t want to sleep, remind your child briefly, firmly and calmly that it is bedtime, you are right in the next room and that you will check in her/him later.

Try to Avoid

Rushing into the room and pick the child up if he/she cries or calls for you. Instead stay calm, take your time and allow him/her a few minutes (time yourself if you have to) to notice that everything is fine. Then poke your head in the room briefly and calmly and reassure the child that you are right in the next room and that it’s bedtime.
Making TV part of the bedtime routine.
Allowing frequent interruptions to the bedtime routine.

Tips for Mealtime Routines

Create a lunch and nap routine. Make lunch at the same time every day and after lunch plan a quiet time for you and your child to read or sing songs, settling down for nap time. Your child will learn to expect this chain of events every day. Nap time will become an easy transition and you will get some much deserved rest.
Have a snack every day after naps. Again, your child will know exactly what to expect after naps and will look forward to eating. Also, having a snack in the late afternoon will tide your child over until dinner time.
Have everyone in the family sit down together at the table to eat meals. Establishing meal routines like this means the family visits with each other and connects while eating.
Let children help out with getting the meals ready by letting them clean veggies and/or set the table. Again, this is a chance for parents and children to bond, learn kitchen skills and help each other.
Plan meals and snacks in advance so that you know meals are healthy.

Try to Avoid

Allowing interruptions at meal times.
Eating while watching television. Once in a while this might be o.k. but it shouldn’t be part of daily meal routines.
Allowing children to walk around while they eat. When eating, have children (and parents) sit down, relax and enjoy their food.

Tips for Playtime Routines

Make time to play with your children every day, and make time for them to play on their own. Doing this ensures that both parents and children have some free time to themselves, and that both children and parents have fun time together.
Plan activities every day. Having a time set aside for your child to interact with specific toys or art supplies promotes learning and creativity. For example, do an art project, go to the park, play outside, do water play at the sink, or cook something together.
Encourage children to work out their problems with others by helping them problem solve. Help them to tell you what the problem is, figure out an answer, decide whether the solution is fair, and then try the solution out.

Try to Avoid

Allowing children to become aggressive while playing.
Stepping in immediately when children are having problems. Instead give them some time to figure things out together. If it becomes necessary to step in, guide them towards a solution by helping them empathize (notice how someone else is feeling) and problem solve.

Tips for Potty Training

Explain to children what and where the toilet is and that mommy and daddy use it all the time. Talk about using the potty and keep it handy.
Be patient and sensitive to children who are willing and eager to use the toilet but who are just not yet physical developed enough to do so.
Help motivate children who are well on their way to becoming regulars on the toilet by taking them shopping to choose their own underwear.

Try to Avoid

Using comments like “good girl or good boy” when trying to express your approval to children. Statements like this place value on the child based on his/her ability to do a thing, and this is not healthy. Instead use comments that draw attention to their actions like, "wow, that’s great that you had a pee on the toilet!" Remember using the toilet at an early age has no bearing on how smart or capable children are.
Getting up tight, mad or upset if toilet accidents happen. It's not good for children to become stressed over learning to use the toilet, so keep toilet training low key and lighthearted.

At first, the time between feeling the urge to go to the bathroom and having to go is very short for children. As they get better at noticing the feeling of needing to go to the toilet, they develop their muscular control and their timing gets better and better. This takes time though, so stay cool about it.

Click on these links for more information on Parenting Styles, Communicating Needs and Feelings, Discipline, and/or dealing with Stressful Situations or visit the websites below:

Active Parenting
http://www.activeparenting.com/parentquiz.htm

iVillage
http://quiz.ivillage.co.uk/uk_parenting/tests/parent.htm

Vancouver School Board
http://www.vsb.bc.ca/vsbprograms/kto12/litmap/Parents/Hints+and+tips.htm

How to Establish a Child’s Routine
http://www.ehow.com/how_11002_establish-childs-routine.html

Toilet Training
http://www.bchealthguide.org/healthfiles/hfile92j.stm

Sources:

Littlies for Practical Parenting: Parenting Styles: What Types of Parent are You? http://www.littlies.co.nz/page.asp?id=628
About.com. A Bedtime Routine That Works. http://singleparents.about.com/od/parenting/qt/bedtimeroutine.htm
Stone Soup Group. Establishing FASD Strategies. http://www.stonesoupgroup.org/index.cfm?section=Programs&page=FASD-Family-Support-
Project&viewpost=2&ContentId=2667
A Free Article Database. Mommy & Baby: Establishing Your Baby’s Routine. http://www.thelaboroflove.com/articles/mommy-baby-establishing-your-babys-routine/
eHow. How to Establish a Child’s Routine.
http://www.ehow.com/how_11002_establish-childs-routine.html
Texas State Library & Archives Commission Website. Tips for Reading to your Child. http://www.tsl.state.tx.us/ld/projects/childcare/tips.html
BC Health Files. Toilet Training.
Child Development Series – HealthFile # 92j, November 2004.