Parenting

Stressful Situations

Tips on Preventing Stressful Situations

• If you're going out make sure children are well rested and fed. Take snacks with you in case of hunger emergencies.
• If you know you're going somewhere that might be boring to your children, bring along things like a favourite toy to keep them busy.
• Let children know what to expect when you're going out together. For instance, if you're going to the grocery store, let them know before hand that you’ll need their help in the store and that you won’t be buying any treats. Tell them they can choose between two cereals.
• If you see your children get restless, encourage them to talk about what they are feeling. Ask them, “are you tired, or hungry?” You might also distract them with conversation.  Try asking them about what they might want to do when they get home or talk to them about whatever you’re thinking about. Encouraging children to talk about their feelings helps them manage their emotions so that they don't get overwhelmed by them.

Tips on Dealing with Tantrums and Meltdowns

• First, try to soothe, calm and talk to your child. If this doesn't work because your child is too worked up, take them to a calm, safe place and let them cry it out. Stay close by, but leave the talking for later.
• Once your child is calm enough, gentle holding, talking and reassuring comments can help them understand what happened, how they felt and how they might handle themselves better next time.
• Remember, DON’T GIVE IN to your child during stressful situations - although it’s tempting to just let children have their way when they’re throwing a fit in public or private, letting their bad behaviour push you into giving in is the wrong thing to do! Doing this, even once or twice, teaches children that tantrums work and will let them have their way.
• Avoid losing your temper with your child. It will only make things worse. When you feel yourself starting to get angry, just say, “I’m starting to get upset and feel too mad to deal with this right now so I’m just going to take 5 minutes to breathe and calm down before we solve this”. Doing this sets an excellent example your children and will help you stay calm.
• Don't worry about what other people around you are thinking. For every person who is critical, there is another who is understanding and deeply sympathetic. Just focus on handling the situation, and remember there are no perfect parents.

For more information on parenting in stressful situations, discipline and/or communicating with children, click on the Parenting Styles, Discipline or Communicating Needs and Feelings sections of this site or visit the websites below:

Parenting.com
http://www.parenting.com/Common/category.jsp?categoryID=2100&typeID=900&genID=5

Suite101.com
http://infantstoddlers.suite101.com/article.cfm/preventing_public_toddler_tantrums

Sources:

Washington State Child Care Resource and Referral Network: Understanding Your Child’s Feelings. http://www.childcarenet.org/understanding-your-child-s-feelings
Caring for kids (CPS)-
Guiding your child with positive discipline: http://www.caringforkids.cps.ca/behaviour&parenting/PositiveDiscipline.htm
When your child misbehaves: Tips for positive discipline http://www.caringforkids.cps.ca/behaviour&parenting/Misbehaves.htm